Don’t ever, ever, ever, ever, EVER do anything you’re not one hundred sure about. Whether you think you’re ready or not, just make damn sure to think twice before you do it. 

I feel like the shittiest person alive. 

I slept with Alex last night.

Yeah.

I would just like to be high for the rest of forever, is that too much to ask for?

iudytsrtygunmvhhaaaahhahahaahafvdy

oh my god

so messed up

I haven’t smoked in forever and I feel like I might actually be going a little bit insane.

what is wrong with people

I’m craving again, oh god.

I cannot wait to leave this town. I need change. This is the only place I’ve lived longer than two years and as happy as that makes me, it’s driving me crazy. 

People keep asking if I’ve slept with Alex. I haven’t, but it makes me uncomfortable that they keep asking me that. It’s not like I’m not ready, I don’t think anyone really ever is, but it’s just… I feel as though they’re expecting me to and I’d only be doing it to fulfill their expectations. It’s not like I wouldn’t like to sleep with him, and it’s not like I’d be doing it just for that, but its weird.

People should stop asking, it’s none of their business.

Alex and I made a bet to see who could hold out not smoking longer. It just goes until one of us cracks and the loser has to tell my parents we’re together!

So basically, neither one of us is going to even touch another cigarette ever again.